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SCUMBLOG :
Diary of a dissolute man
Thur 14th August 03 Aha! Got iframes working on the site. You won't notice much difference, but it's there, it means I'll be able to add content more easily than before. Yipeee! Am watching the new house most of the time, so in theory I have a lot more time in which to create that content.
Weds 13th August 03 As usual my luck sucks cocks in hell, I am typing this after nearly a week of internet withdrawl in a local public booth, this being the only way I can get Internet with Floppy access (so I can get at my files) without the damn library computers censoring my work. Unfortunately... well, I have to listen to someone who isnt even renting a computer, right next to me, and their horrible kid wailing away. Suppose it could be worse- I could be next to some drug dealer wire transferring crack money or something to their Paypal account. Cauda pavonis gig was good. Will post some pics... now.
The gig was totally fantastic, they sounded great. Considering the weather (hot enought to melt lead) this was quite an acheivement. If you want to know more, their website is: [/plug] Well, GTG, I'm only booked for half an hour.
8th August 03 Still haven't begun "making phone calls". Damn it, I just can't stand to leave this dump, I luv it really, its just the accomodation situation that's driving me up the goddam wall. Ho hum. Cauda Pavonis gig tonite. Me's off to London in a bus full of goths and beer, hope we don't drown (in the beer, natch) before we get there. Tomorrow I move into my new home- another semi abandoned building- which is missing the plaster on the entire rear facing wall. You can even see through gaps in the brick! Still, at least it'll be well ventilated. There is electric and water, too. Which is kind of essential. So at least my direst fears have been delayed from happening ... for a while. The only real problem is, I gotta spend the next couple of weeks watching the place like a hawk, which sort of makes my summer rather non existant. Oh, well, at least I won't get skin cancer. Summer is beginning to drive me nuts. Everywhere you go you are surrounded by irritating fat ugly stupid morons, and their annoying spawn yelling up a storm. And all the thugs like to hang out in the street in the summer (more so than usual), and, and, andandand... GOD I WANT TO BE ON THE BEACH! I know. I'll use my time trapped in my new hole to hack up a fabby frames version of this site. It'll be fab, just you wait.
7th August 03 Slight improvement in luck; found a good empty yesterday. But nothing except static from those Housing jerkoffs, as per usual. Still thinking of just leaving town. The thing about Bristol - I suspect the entire South of England- is if you are poor, there is no sense that you are still a citizen- it's a kind of aparthied. You are made to feel like a second class human being, a dirty lowlife welfare recipient and a natural target for abuse and exploitation. I'm living on my wits here, there is just no sense that you are entitled to be treated like a human being when you are Pauper Scum, if you don't fit into the economy you become a kind of non person. There are just too many examples of this to even begin listing them, ultimately dear reader you either get it or you don't. It's a fuckin' tragedy, but I just don't seem to have an economic niche here. And THIS IS MY FUCKING HOME!!! I hung around leftie arseholes for years helping set up a co-op, as soon as it got started they began to try and ream me out. I worked my ass off going to college and learning to drive and stuff, in the end I just had a bunch of crappy bits of paper that qualified me to do nothing. This place has completely screwed me over. Ultimately, it really does look like I have to leave. Those Brummie goths seem like a nice bunch. And there are all kinds of things to do there, and you can ACTUALLY HAVE A HOUSE EVEN IF YOU ARE ON BENEFITS!!!!!!! Well, that's the theory. I think it is time to start making phone calls.
5th August 03 My viewing figures have gone up! Hurrah! Everything else is shit, of course. Had a good weekend though. Although it turned out not to be open decks the Party was good, everyone really pissed, I only wish the Hatchet would stay open till 4 am like clubs in real cities, so it could be like that every weekend. Met up with long lost sister (mentioned her existance earlier but too wierded out to talk about it) the following night, when suffering with hangover. I could never really see the resemblence until then, it was quite spooky. Basically someone who'se even more annoying when drunk than me. You might think this is pretty cool but in the event it was just very very very wierd. But fun. Other news from under the floorboards... as intimated earlier my life is continuing its long slow decline into crap. But somehow now I have... er... an audience... it's not so bad. Got to admit blogging is pretty cool. Anyway, back to the crap: this dickhead arsehole squatter conned me and two other people into running around like a blue arsed fly after him, cause he was under threat of illegal eviction by a scum landlord. But in the event -he was too damn lazy to even turn up to his own apartment to let us in to help defend it from attack, in fact he was such a twat he didn't even bother to change the lock. Usual crap, I guess. I just can't fathom people's mentalities these days, when I was a lad there would have been a massive incident and rightness and good would have prevailed; instead this dickwad just sits there, wastes peoples time and lets himself get screwed over! GRRRRR!!!! :-( (also this SOB has kept me from my precious blog and cost me viewers) My own quest for housing still not going so well; was lunched out by loads of people all over- a friend of mine who claimed he was gonna turn up on friday morning to help me get into a place that had heavy steel shutters on it which can't be moved by one person, then at 1pm the charity winge rehousing people lunched me out, by not turning up to an appointment I'd made with them. Then this arsefaced motherfucker decided to spend the whole of sunday monday and tuesday screwing me around. And on Tuesday I went to another appointment with Rehousing Charity winge, and they told me I was an hour early, when I wasn't, but they saw me anyway, went through the interview, blah blah blah, then I get told there is a 6-10 MONTH waiting list. Which in managerspeak means 12-18 months, which means 2 years. Basically it is beginning to look like there is nowhere, FUCKING NOWHERE to go after my eviction in 3 weeks. Except Birmingham and a place here where I will get a goon squad, guaranteed. GOD DAMN IT! I guess the moral of the story is, don't trust anyone, don't assume anything, don't ask for anything and you won't be dissapointed. winge. (Don't worry kids- something'll turn up. It usually does)
30th July 03 Still pounding the streets looking for empty houses to live in or cheap bedsits. Getting boring now. On the other hand, there's a birthday party on Friday at the Hatchet (Local goth pub type thing) and apperently there will be open decks, with everyone on Altbristol invited! I've done a couple of compilation CDs (my music is mostly on MP3 format) and can't wait! Ha! I bet I know more obscure and wierd tracks than any of those so-called "goths" do, there's just no point if you don't know of at least five bands no-ones ever heard of!
My Fave Obscure Hits:
I suppose you bastards are gonna start going on about how you all shagged at least half of these bands, and got into fights with the other half of them. But I don't really care. So what you think doesn't really matter. Hurrah! (I would like to remind readers that in my capacity as OverMaster of this site I completely fail to take responsibility for any sudden and drastic General Sense Of Humour Faliures incurred while reading this blog) Better still was doodling around this morning when I had a great idea for a screenplay! Hurahh! It's gonna be an ace pisstake of news and current affairs shows set in the future, had myself in stitches this morning. :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)
29th July 03 Really pissed off. Having to go on the Parish, it's either that or leave town. Decided I want to leave town less than I want to go on the parish. Going on the parish basically involves grovelling like a baby i in front of some pen pusher, only those who debase themselves successfully will get State aid for accomodation. I feel like shit. Yesterday went house hunting, and all I got was "no DSS, No unemployed, no sorry your too young, your not a student, go away now..." One arsehole even turned me down because I was under 35!!! How fuckin' old do you have to be??? Oh, well, better times will come. These past few days have been hell though, as I've had to hang around tring to choose whether to carry on living in this hell hole, or move and never see my friends again. The way I see it is that it's all the fault of normals; if it wasn't for their greed I could get a place to live cheap, and everything would follow on from there, but as it is? They have to have their mortgages, their right wing politicians, their private pensions, their big cars, and so the rest of the world has to be screwed over to accomodate their greed... take a look at the news if you don't belive me. They're taking the entire planet apart. PEOPLE FUCKING SUCK!!!!!!
27th July 03 Did some work on my site and submitted it to a webring. Maybe I'll get a visitor.... Hello visitor. (Looks around at discarded beer cans and stuff, grins uncomfortably) Err... it's like this... um. I had someone staying... yeah, that's right. And they're not too tidy. Yeah. Oooops, is that the time? GTG. 25th July 03 Went to the library today, where I am typing this. Raining heavily. Looking at the walls of the building- a fabulous gothic pile- noticed "as if for the first time" how knackered it was. Wondered how it looked before air pollution. This old guy next to me told me about how they were putting some additive in the petrol, had been for about four years, which really gets into your lungs. Christ. Wonder what a non-smoker's lungs look like in a big city- maybe there's no difference. It has been raining all day, with the feeling of a weather front that could last all month. Overheard a girl in a cafe earlier, talking to someone from Argentina about the weather; how its supposed to be summer and blah blah blah... but this year something is wrong. A sad and dying planet. I get the impression August may be rained out. Went to court today to get evicted. Another bummer, remembered how when I started squatting (early 90s) you could turn up, tell a few obvious lies and get a two week adjournment. This is when they held the hearings in a proper courtroom, now they are held in an office block in town. It's good to be in my late twenties, I can remember what this country was like before it got completely fucked over by stupid, greedy, "efficiency"-obsessed yuppies from hell. Wonder what the kids feel like nowadays. Maybe thats why they went on all those anti-war protests. You may notice a bluesy feel to todays post, dear reader, this is because I have made a decision. I have decided to think about maybe becoming interested in the possiblity of moving back to Birmingham (BIRMINGHAM, ENGLAND!) and even this tentative non-descision leaves me with a heavy heart. All my friends live here, it's not their fault it's a dump. A physically and socially decaying crud-hole that's stomping it's citizens in record numbers, dominated by ripoff artists, phoneys and four-flushing thugs. Everyone here is some kind of wise guy, trying to screw everyone else, and sometimes it seems there is no space for a poor neurotic unemployable gothy squatter like me. The real reason I'm so pissed off is that Hippy jerks took the EZ-squat I was gonna take, now I will have to deal with Sitex (NB this is a kind of anti-squatter security grille), which takes at least two people and has in the past sent me to the hospital with a knackered back. All so I can get three or four months in a crummy insanitary dump next to a load of drug dealers and pimps. OK, I've got that off my chest, now to stop feeling sorry for myself. STOP! Right. Did some work on my short story "The Institute" last night, fixed the ending which was crap. Will put it on line along with all the other stuff I said I was gonna put on line soon soon soooon.
21st July 03 ASHTON COURT FESTIVAL! Went to Ashton Court Festival, a local festie. Sold beer I'd bought at 50p a can for £1.50 a can. Made £20. Lost jacket. Was supposed to be meeting sister, but missed her. Bumped into some types I know from altbristol, shot breeze with them. Was VERY pissed off at losing jacket, spent all the time I usually spend bumping into old friends and having a good time looking for it. On the way home went past site of last years squat party , asked if they were having one this year and found they were. BIG mistake. Took too many drugs, spending £15, ie most of my takings and all of my profits on beer and lines. At first was great but learned the reason I now avoid squatter types like the plague, even though many of them are very nice. It's the 'scene', the way sleaze and scum and punks are attracted to it. Drug dealers who leave their babies sleeping under rickety scaffolding, rude bastards who walk off while you are talking to them, unpleasant women who chat you up for half an hour then walk off, and pasty-faced, ugly fuckwits who dance like brain dead zombies to complete shit music. And drunken semi-townie arseholes with voices like foghorns. I used to put up with this because there wasn't much alternative, but having got used to the friendliness and good dress sense of the Gothoids, I can gladly tell you Never Again. Spent the Sunday lying around half dead then watching endless pirate copies of the Simpsons on my PC, then switching to movies- half of a very depressing nuclear war drama called threads and half of the Cronenberg movie Naked Lunch before sleeping for four hours. Got out of bed with the aforementioned four hours sleep and no speed and wandered off to start hustling for a new squat. Bought barrell lock and vaguely thought of getting a bedsit. Came here to wait for my appointment with The Hub, a piss poor homeless persons resettlement office that never seems to rehouse anybody, which I have made strictly for comic relief, it being a bastion of the Homelessness Industry and therefore with a vested interest of not housing anyone. It's true I tell you! OK that may be a slight exaggeration, they probably house the odd junkie or tramp, but they sure as hell ain't gonna house me. Know why? Cause I am not (a) a junkie, (b) a mentalist. And because I have 2 things such people will never have, (1) initiative and (2) self respect. In order to get on the Parish, I mean to get rehoused by the State if you are single, you must have all the self respect of a dung beetle and the initiative of a three toed sloth. If you have the initiative to open your own squats and the self respect not to put up with being patronized by the Industry 24 / 7 then you are not one of the "deserving poor" but a leech, sucking the lifeblood from the nation. It's great being a leech. 18th July 03 Got my court papers to evict me from my squat yesterday. Thank God I know where the empties are! Horrible moment after I popped into the Housing office to see how many points I need to get rehoused in the neigboring area; basically told me: You need 330 and have 215. Points go up by ten a year. So I have to wait ten years, unless I get someone pregnant or something. Anyway was on my way here when this horrible black depression settled over me like a soft blacmange of death. Yeuchhh.... Will be releasing the Squatter Scum Database soonish, then try to get the right-on squatter anarcho-arsehole contingent to link to me. Oops, not with language like that I'm not! (hee hee) Things don't look good, scumwatchers, I can carry on squatting for ever, but if I ever want a place to live I have to either get a shit job (have been unemployed for pretty much my entire adult life, can only get bedsit or whatever if employed) wait ten years, make out I'm a rough sleeper and be patronized to death by the Homelessness Industry, or just move to bloody Birmingham (whatever you might say about the place, at least it's cheap & they don't have the no dogs, no Irish, no Blacks -I mean no DSS rule- mainly because no-one in their right mind would live there). Right now I'm sitting in the Watershed surrounded by some idiots screaming kids and waiting for the drunks to turn up and irritate me even more. Friday night in Bristol and the pissheads hit the town. Screaming townie arseholes on the point of rioting, make the crack addicts in the inner city look like Snow White by comparison. At least proper scum bags will only attack you if they have a motive, ie to rip you off. Oh, well. Got to go- stuff to do. ;-)
16th July 03 Another night and no bleeding sleep! Pumped up on Ginseng, caffiene pills and Gurana "buzz gum". Worst was the Ginseng, took three and my heart damn near exploded out of my chest. Finally gave up the struggle to sleep at about 8.30 AM, had a coffee and a caffine pill, cycled into town and went to a health food shop. Bought the Ginseng and some sleeping thing called "Peaceful night". Information sheet listed all sorts of evil side effects up to and including a horrible death, especially if you are taking Propanalol, the same Beta blocker (for panic attacks) I'm supposed to be guzzling. Oh well. GOT TO FIX MY SODDING BODY CLOCK!!!!!!!!!!! 15th July 03 Dying of heat exhaustion. Pulled another all nighter, but have finally got my body clock fixed. Phew! It's so BLOODY HOT that it's pretty much impossible to do all those summerry things everyone wants to do in the summer, like bouncing around the fields with fluffy lambs and tweeting birds and that... which is why no-one does all that stuff, unless they have a car. if they've got a car they're too busy working to pay for it to do anything, then there are all those health bastards who mountain bike up Snowdonia and walk to Kilimanjaro and shit like that. But at least the hay fever has gone. Which is nice. Now I want a car. It's grate when you have a car, you get to get out of the stinking hot city full of morons once in a while. Which is even nicer. Bumped into my sister on Saturday. Hadn't seen for ages. Doing fine. Which is also nice. Well, anyway. Had a great weekend, got pissed got laid got pissed again, then I found my bike had been trashed by townies while it was chained to the railings of that pub! I am now reliant on someone I dislike for transportation and will no doubt have to fork out major bucks for a new one! WHICH IS NOT NICE! BOLLOCKS! 11th July 03 Finally got rid of that little freeloader. Thank you for your patience dear reader, I really am not a nasty man, I just have this adversion to waking up to the smell of rotting skip food every damn day. The man is a walking health hazard. Anyway, it was humane; I gave him an overdose of reds and drowned him in a bucket. ONLY KIDDING! Some hippie vegans have taken him on, as mentioned earlier. Stayed up all damn night last night, as is my habit. Trying to re-adjust body clock, so still awake now, at 10.50am. I am typing this in my regular Internet access place which is this trendy bar called the Watershed. This is how I can do this site while not having Internet at home. Thank Christ for pro-plus, nasal decongestant, and every other form of stimulant drug in existance... should get my body clock fixed by tomorrow, so I can actually wander about in the sun (hayfever season seems to be over) and frolic amongst the fluffy birds and trees and stuff instead of sitting up in my room all night or prowling the streets in search of another empty house like some kind of friggin' squat vampire. Began promoting this site. Just punched in request for contributions to slashgoth. Philipkdick.com to follow no doubt. If you are one of these people please look upon my site charitably, and give me the benefit of the doubt at all times, god knows I need it. And please don't attach files larger than about 20K to your emails, or I'll lose my email adress and this whole damn thing will come crashing down my ears. (Cue the sound of 200 million computers being set to send the complete works of HR Giger, Edgar Allen Poe and Philip K Dick as well as George Bush's toy soldier collection to this site's email) 11.08am Dammit, Philipkdick.com doesnt seem to have a talkboard, well maybe it does, the damn thing takes so long to load the universe will have have died before I find out. Sheesh., and they werre such a good site.... I'll mail someone I sent a short to..... see ya folks....
8th July 03 Have got new service provider, as Yahoo! screwing me over with
crummy adverts.
J__ S______ has found B_____ somewhere to live, sometime later
today I will pick him up, throw him over my shoulder and dump him
there. I think it's hippie vegans so with any luck he won't be
back- hippie vegan squats last a lifetime and as long as you spout
the right political crap and are uncritical of the crap they in
turn talk, you can stay there as long as you like.
I realize I must seem like a complete bastard, but to be honest?
I don't give a shit. Had a long rant to B_____ last night and while
it was like talking to myself in many ways, he said something interesting-
I'd said about how much harder things are now compared to when I
first came on the scene- 10-11 years ago- and he said he'd noticed
it too, but thought he was being paranoid. Poor sucker.
2nd July 03
B_____ sorting himself out. He is now talking about the need to get away from all the scum. Hee, hee.
Stayed up all night last night, wound up playing chess at dawn with N_____. Tore him to bits. Titter.
May have to move from GeoCities as their adverts make it impossible to navigate the site properly.
30th June 03
The Goth Picnic was wierd, like one of those dreams that becomes a nightmare. Everything was going great until someone tripped over a branch or something on the way back from the loo and broke their leg!
The horrid, guilt inducing thing about this is that about an hour before I had been clambering over gargoyles in a vain attempt to climb Cabot Tower (the site of our little meet up). I failed to do this, and also escaped injury (considering how drunk I was this is a miracle) yet someone else only has to walk over some rough ground and they are hospitalized for over a week! I guess the moral of the story is that you might as well try to climb olde Gothic towers as not if you want to, as if your going to bust your leg you're going to bust your leg.
My Li'l Squatter (B_____) has been in my house for one and a half weeks. I am losing my grip, every time I get up he's done something even more wierd and incompetent. First it was tearing up the carpet in the room I lent him because of his asthma, then it was leaing mounds of food to rot away on the counter top. There is no way of house training this man. He makes me look like some sort of hygene freak! Now he just potters about in an irritating manner. God, I know this seems utterly bastardly, but if he doesn't get out of my house soon I won't be held responsible. Think I'll toss him into some homeless hostel.
Am being kicked off the terminal in Pretentious Internet Cafe Land now, so must go.
20 June '03:
Blog goes on-line.
Went to library. Took back books. Went to internet land. Updated blog.
The punk ass loser, B_____, is squatting in my front room. That's how lazy squatters are- they crash in the front rooms of other squatters! God Damn!
On another topic... Goth Picnic tomorrow! Yipee!
19 June '03:
Website goes on-line in Sneak Preview type format. Also, downloaded a PDF maker.
Went to small birthday celebration for a friend. Drank lots of wine. Felt sick.
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